At the point where you know you really shouldn’t care but you can’t help yourself. As if it becomes addictive, the pain of knowing it can’t be but it’s all you’ve ever wanted. When even the slightest memory can bring a smile, the way they make you feel, it’s almost euphoric. But the struggle between being happy or doing the right thing, by doing the right thing, you hurt yourself. And by doing what will make you happy, you will hurt countless others. To accept defeat and move on, or to keep torturing yourself, hoping that one day, they just might feel the same. Trying to come to terms with reality and understand, it’s all just in my head.
Maybe.
As soon as you make the decision to be yourself, that feeling of powerlessness vanishes. Granted you have to deal with the issues that may arise with friends and family, but as soon as you make the decision to be happy, that you love yourself, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It’s like, fuck them if they can’t deal with you being you.
